Three Law Students and What Values Alignment Actually Requires
Aug 20, 2026
This week I’m in Dallas speaking at a law school orientation about aligning your career with your values and strengths. The same week, my daughter Allison starts law school.
A couple of weeks ago our family was in El Salvador, where two other young women are pursuing legal education. Reina just graduated and started her first job. Kimberly is earlier in her studies. We sponsored Reina’s education for several years, and we’re now sponsoring Kimberly’s.
Three law students, very different circumstances, all stepping into a profession that shapes how people are treated.
Values Are Easy to Name and Hard to Live
Our family holds two core values that I’ve also built into my business:
- Positive impact
- Generosity
Those words are simple to put on a website, but living them requires deciding what they look like in practice, which is harder and considerably more specific.
For us, part of that has meant investing in legal education in El Salvador, where the rule of law has a complicated history. That history is precisely why the lawyers coming up now matter. This profession has real capacity to create positive change, and not only here at home.
The Two Lists
When I work with law students and legal professionals on values, I ask for two lists.
- First: what are your top five personal values? People answer quickly.
- Second: if someone followed you for a month and watched how you spent your time, attention, and money, what would they say your top five values are?
I’ve been teaching this exercise for years, and the room goes quiet every time. Those two lists are rarely the same.
The first is your ideal values. The second is your observable values. The gap between them explains a great deal about why people who are performing well still feel like something is off.
The Science Is Stronger Than Most People Expect
Research on values affirmation, where participants write briefly about a core personal value, has shown measurable physiological effects. Participants who reflected on a personal value before a stressful task showed reduced cortisol responses compared to those who did not. Broader reviews found that values reflection improves performance under pressure and reduces defensiveness in the face of difficult feedback.
The generosity research is similarly compelling. A 2026 analysis using the Global Flourishing Study, covering more than 200,000 people across 22 countries, found that charitable giving predicted later improvements across a broad range of well-being outcomes, including life satisfaction, social support, gratitude, and financial security.
Brain imaging helps explain the mechanism. Voluntary giving activates the same reward circuitry that responds to food and unexpected good news. The brain does not process generosity as a loss.
Acting on your values is not a cost you absorb in exchange for feeling principled. It is measurably good for you.
Moving Toward Alignment
| 1 | Audit the evidence, not the intention. Open your calendar and your bank statement for the past two weeks and ask what someone would conclude you value. |
| 2 | Name the fear, not just the value. The gap is rarely caused by not knowing what matters. It’s usually fear. A named fear can be examined. An unnamed one quietly runs your calendar. |
| 3 | Make one value concrete. “Generosity” is abstract. “We sponsor a law student” is a decision you can act on. |
| 4 | Read your emotions as information. A reaction bigger than the event usually means a value is being stepped on. This works for colleagues too. |
| 5 | Start smaller than feels meaningful. Values alignment compounds. The first step rarely looks impressive, but it matters. I love the story of the starfish and actually carry a little starfish medallion in my wallet: The Starfish Story. |
Where to Start
If someone watched how you spent your time and/or your money the last two weeks, what would they say you value?
If the answer surprises you, that’s useful information rather than a verdict. It tells you where to begin — take a small step to get started!
Every week, I explore ideas like this in the EsquireWell Weekly — practical reflections on well-being, emotional intelligence, and showing up with more clarity in demanding work. It’s free, it’s personal, and subscribers tell me it’s the one newsletter they actually look forward to.
