Your Flight is Cancelled! Emotional Intelligence on the Go
Greetings from Berlin!
I wrote this note to you this morning as the city was still quiet, and my husband and daughters were fast asleep after a long and unexpectedly eventful journey. I had the lovely chance to enjoy some coffee and muesli as I thought about you! (I had intended to write this on the plane yesterday, but you know how spotty the internet can be in-flight.)
Our travel to Berlin, which we anticipated to be smooth sailing after weeks of planning, turned into a lesson in emotional regulation, resilience, and the importance of well-being—skills that are equally crucial in our professional lives as lawyers and legal professionals. (Life often seems to offer me opportunities to practice what I teach!)
Our travel day started early Wednesday morning. We got up early, our bags packed, ready to catch the Uber we had reserved for 7:15 a.m. However, the morning took a turn as we woke up to a message that our initial flight to New York (to catch our plane to Berlin) had been completely canceled due to the weather on the East Coast, and we were rebooked on separate flights from our adult daughters at much later times which would have resulted in losing a significant amount of our precious time with friends in Germany. Not great news to wake up to!
On the plane headed to Germany!
What followed was an hour-long wait on hold trying to reach a Delta representative, trying to sort out the situation. It was a moment that tested patience and the ability to stay composed under pressure, and it reminded me a bit of the challenges we often face in our lives and legal careers.
You know me - always trying to find the lesson or metaphor in situations, so as I reflect on our travel experience, here are some valuable lessons that travel can teach us about emotional intelligence, resilience, and well-being:
1. Emotional Regulation in Unpredictable Situations
Travel, like life and law, is full of surprises—some pleasant, others not so much. The key to navigating these moments is emotional regulation. In the face of our flight cancellation, the initial stress could have easily escalated into frustration or panic. Instead, focusing on what I could control—staying calm, assessing the situation, and patiently working with the airline—allowed me to manage the outcome effectively. The same applies when dealing with unexpected challenges in our work; maintaining composure helps us think clearly and find solutions.
(This is always a work in progress, and the more I practice regulating myself, the better I get at it. I still have to work at it and apologize to others when I don’t get it right, but it’s a muscle I’m always growing.)
2. Resilience Through Adaptability
When our travel plans changed, so did our expectations. Adapting to the new situation, finding new flights, and deciding our priorities (traveling with our daughters even if it meant navigating some additional complexities) required resilience. Travel teaches us to be flexible and open to change—skills that are invaluable in the legal profession, where cases can take unexpected turns, and plans often need to be adjusted on the fly (pardon the pun!).
3. The Importance of Well-Being and Disconnecting
After a whirlwind of travel-related stress, there's a deep sense of relief and joy in finally arriving at our destination. It reminds me of the importance of well-being—taking time to disconnect, relax, and recharge. As lawyers, it's easy to stay constantly plugged in, but moments of intentional downtime are crucial for our mental and emotional health. I'll be off-line for the next few days as we explore Berlin, embracing the present moment with family and friends and allowing myself to fully unwind.
4. Mindfulness in New Environments
Travel forces us out of our routines and into new environments, which can be both exhilarating and challenging. This shift encourages mindfulness—being present and fully engaged with our surroundings. Whether it's navigating a foreign city or a complex legal issue, mindfulness helps us to stay focused and make more informed decisions.
5. Building Stronger Relationships Through Shared Experiences
Travel often involves overcoming challenges together, which can strengthen relationships. The shared experience of navigating our flight cancellation brought my family closer and gave us some stories to look back on and laugh (or commiserate), much like how working through tough cases as a team can build stronger bonds within a legal team. The key is to approach these moments with empathy and collaboration.
Practical Takeaways for Your Practice and Legal Work:
Practice Emotional Regulation: When faced with unexpected challenges, take a moment to breathe and assess the situation before reacting. This will help you get your thinking brain (your prefrontal cortex) back “online” so you can respond more effectively and intentionally. It wouldn’t have served me to unload on the Delta representative; I had a job to do - get my family to Berlin!
Be Adaptable: Embrace flexibility in your practice. When things don't go as planned, look for alternative solutions and remain open to change. We needed to rebook and fly through Paris instead of NYC, which actually gave us a cool opportunity to be in Paris during the Olympics (and grab a genuine French croissant in the airport)!
Prioritize Well-Being: Schedule regular breaks to disconnect and recharge. It’s like restarting your computer, or, as author Anne Lamott says, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Your well-being is critical to your effectiveness and success in your legal role!
Cultivate Mindfulness: Engage fully with your environment and tasks at hand. This will help you stay focused, make better decisions, and reduce stress. When your amazing mind can singularly focus, it’s like a laser beam. Our brains actually can’t multitask; our brains are built for “mono-tasking” to be at their best.
Strengthen Relationships: Use challenges as opportunities to build stronger connections with colleagues and clients. Approach these moments with empathy and a collaborative spirit, and, ideally, a bit of humor. A healthy “we’re all in this together” attitude can make any situation more bearable and can actually lead to better results in the moment and stronger relationships in the future.
After I press “send” on this newsletter, I'm signing off to enjoy a few days offline, exploring Berlin with friends and family. I encourage you to find moments in your busy lives to disconnect, reflect, and recharge. Whether through travel or simply a weekend at home, taking time for yourself is not just a luxury—it's a necessity for sustaining yourself and your best work through the high demands of our profession.
Wishing you resilience, mindfulness, and well-being on your journey!
