Full Circle: How Merry-Go-Rounds Teach Us About Breaking Old Habits

This weekend is the annual city festival in our town. Every year since the kids were small, we stop by, eat some “fair food”, check out the vendors, and let the kids ride a few carnival rides.

This got me thinking about the merry-go-rounds that we all see at every carnival, especially today, which happens to be National Merry-Go-Round Day. 

(Don’t worry - I’m going to connect this directly into well-being and success for lawyers and legal professionals. Bear with me a moment!)

For you history buffs: the merry-go-round, also known as a carousel, has a fascinating history. The earliest versions of this ride date back to the Middle Ages, where knights would use a rotating platform for training purposes. Today, we see them in parks and carnivals, bringing smiles and laughter to children and adults alike. (Except for me as I’m prone to a bit of motion sickness.)

Beyond the nostalgia and whimsy, the concept of a merry-go-round can serve as a powerful metaphor for our lives and work, and it’s an illustration I use when I share the program “Achieving Your Goals Using the Power of New Habits” with lawyers and legal professionals.

Often, our days can feel like we're riding on a merry-go-round—spinning in circles, repeating the same thoughts, actions, and behaviors. This routine can be comforting and feel efficient, but when it's no longer serving us or taking us in the direction we want to go in our work and life, it's crucial to recognize the need to step off and change our course instead of going in the same circles over and over again. 

The Science Behind Our Habits

Our brains are wired to create habits. This is a survival mechanism designed to make life easier by conserving energy. Once our brains identify a sequence of actions as a habit, they become automatic, freeing up mental resources for other tasks. This process involves the formation of neural pathways that reinforce the habit, making it increasingly easier to perform the action without conscious thought. That all sounds like a good thing, and it usually is.

But these automatic behaviors can become a double-edged sword. When our habits no longer align with our goals or well-being, they can keep us stuck in unproductive patterns. Breaking free from these routines—getting off the merry-go-round—requires effort and awareness.

Forming New Habits: A Scientific Approach

Creating new habits involves understanding and leveraging how our brains work. Here are some steps based on scientific research to help you form new, healthier habits:

Identify the Cue: Every habit starts with a cue—a trigger that initiates the behavior. Identifying this trigger is the first step in changing a habit.

Replace the Routine: Instead of trying to eliminate a habit altogether, replace the routine associated with the cue with a new, healthier behavior.

Reward Yourself: The brain reinforces habits through rewards. Find a way to reward yourself for performing the new behavior to help solidify the new habit.

Start Small: Large changes can be overwhelming and unsustainable. Start with small, manageable changes and gradually build on them.

Consistency is Key: Repetition is essential for forming new neural pathways. Consistently practicing the new behavior helps establish it as a habit.

The Emotional Journey of Change

Changing habits is not just a cognitive process but also an emotional journey. Resistance and discomfort are natural parts of this process. Our brains resist change because it requires more energy and effort. 

Here’s how to navigate the emotional aspects of forming new habits:

Acknowledge Resistance: Recognize that resistance is a normal response to change. It's a sign that your brain is adjusting to a new way of doing things.

Be Patient with Yourself: Change takes time. Be kind and patient with yourself as you work to establish new habits. It took time to develop the habits you are trying to extinguish; give yourself the gift of time to replace those habits, one new choice at a time.

Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive people who can encourage you and hold you accountable.

Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate small victories along the way. This helps maintain motivation and reinforces the new habit.

Mindfulness and Reflection: Regularly reflect on your progress and the emotions you're experiencing. Taking a moment to reflect and journal (even just a sentence or two) can be a helpful tool. What new choice did you make? How did you feel? What did you learn about yourself? Mindfulness practices can help you stay grounded and focused on your goals.

Embracing Change for a Better Future

National Merry-Go-Round Day is a perfect reminder that while routines and habits can provide stability, they can also keep us spinning in circles. 

By understanding the science behind habits and addressing the emotional challenges of change, we can step off the merry-go-round and create new, fulfilling patterns in our lives. In every moment, there’s the opportunity to break free from unproductive routines and embark on a path of positive growth and transformation.

So, on this whimsical Merry-Go-Round Day, let’s not only enjoy the fun and nostalgia of merry-go-rounds (maybe even ride one this summer!) but also take a moment to reflect on our own lives and habits. 

Are you spinning in circles? Are there routines that no longer serve you? Is it time to step off and find a new path? 

Remember, change is possible, and it starts with a single step!