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Humility: A Top Leadership Skill No One Talks About

In October, our college senior, Allison, spent two weeks in Tanzania with my husband, Ryan, and I swear every day I’d wake up to another photo that stopped me in my tracks. But this one? This one takes the cake!

A little backstory: a small team from our church, along with engineering students from the University of Minnesota, traveled to a remote area to help dedicate a clean water project that has been years in the making. Our church (where Ryan is the pastor) has raised money, partnered with the local congregation, and worked side-by-side with the community to make this dream a reality. And now, because of that collaboration, hundreds of families finally have reliable access to clean water. Women and girls no longer need to spend hours and hours each day walking miles just to provide water for their families, and gastrointestinal illnesses are down 80%. It’s life-changing!

So when the project was officially launched, the whole community came out to celebrate - hundreds of people, music, dancing, the works. Our little delegation was seated up front as guests of honor. Picture rows of chairs lined up carefully, everyone taking their seats, the whole event buzzing with joy and gratitude.

And then … Allison sat down.

Or rather, she tried to.

One of the chair legs snapped, and she went straight into the dirt.

Ryan snapped a picture just seconds after it happened, the exact moment where everyone realized she was totally fine and the concern melted into laughter.

And Allison? She just burst out laughing. Big, unfiltered, joyful laughter. The kind that says, “Well, that was ridiculous, but here we are!” Before long, the entire crowd was laughing along with her.

And honestly? That moment stuck with me.

It wasn’t the fall itself - though she definitely committed to it!

It was how quickly she recovered. No embarrassment. No awkward deflecting.

Just humor, humility, and a willingness to let the moment be what it was.

And it made me think: How often do we let ourselves respond that way at work?

Somewhere along the journey into leadership, we’re subtly taught that competence means polish. That credibility means never tripping, literally or metaphorically. Especially in the legal profession, the cultural default is precision, mastery, and control. There’s seemingly little room to be visibly human, much less to laugh at yourself.

But the leaders we trust most aren’t the ones who never make mistakes; they’re the ones who stay grounded, human, and self-aware when they do.

Laughing at yourself isn’t self-deprecating. It’s self-regulating. It signals psychological safety. It keeps perfectionism in check. And it gives your team permission to show up authentically, without fear that missteps will be career-defining.

Why Humility Elevates Performance

Humility isn’t about downplaying your strengths; it’s about being open, flexible, and growth-oriented.

Leaders who practice humility tend to:

Strengthen trust because they feel real
Collaborate more effectively because they’re not protecting their status
Think more clearly because they’re not hijacked by ego
Shift out of stress faster because they can regulate emotions with humor
Model resilience by showing that mistakes don’t diminish competence

Humility turns mistakes from threats into data - and that’s where learning happens.

A Simple Way to Build This Skill

The next time you catch yourself spiraling into self-critique after a very normal human mistake, try this:

Pause. Exhale. Ask: “What would I say to a friend who did this?”

(Bonus points if you can say it with a smile!)

Humor interrupts the stress response long enough to let your executive brain come back online. It clears the mental clutter so you can focus, recover, and keep moving. And when you can show humility and the ability to chuckle at your own humanness, it gives permission and encouragement for others to do the same.

We don’t grow by avoiding falls.

Growth begins when we stop fearing the fall and start trusting our ability to recover.

Sometimes a lighter perspective is the most strategic move you can make.